me, writing a book review? that's how you know my ass was READING this story  love to put the screens down and engage with some printed sequential art, highly recommend

anyway, i picked up the first of this two-volume BL manga at the public library a few days ago, and just yesterday sat down to read it. it's not often that i see comics about fat main characters, so i had to check it out  i ended up loving it, and i'm sad the second volume wasn't there! i'll have to check if it's available from any of the other library branches because i want to see where this little meet-cute goes.

there will be some spoilers ahead, but i've left out a lot of the big story beats.

the story is about Ponjirou, a young stage actor who is talented and passionate about his craft, but worries that his weight keeps him from breaking out into mainstream success. the other actors in his theater company are friends to him and always supportive, but Ponjirou is acutely aware of the way his thin colleagues attract many fans, while he himself has none. he doubts his abilities as an actor, especially after flubbing a line in a recent play. 

one day, Ponjirou starts receiving mysterious gifts of treats from a popular local bakery. the gifts come packaged with notes from an anonymous fan, telling Ponjirou that they're cheering him on. he's over the moon about it, spurred on to be the best actor he can, because he knows at least one person out there appreciates his work. i loved this panel, "there's someone who sees me"; as a fat person, i'm so used to being cast aside and overlooked that this sentence and the hopeful look on Ponjirou's face made me smile.

the treats turn out to be coming from Konnosuke, a shy and reserved pastry chef at the bakery who struggles with confidence in his own career, very similarly to Ponjirou. of course, Ponjirou doesn't immediately know— he and his theater company friends figure the gifts must be coming from someone who works at the bakery, but when Ponjirou goes to check the place out, he assumes that a bubbly female employee, who seemed excited to meet him, is the secret fan. Konnosuke is far too shy to admit his identity, and the poor guy is crushing hard. 

there's a lot of cute interactions between the two of them, with Konnosuke being a sweaty, nervous wreck while Ponjirou obliviously tells him that he's a huge fan of the treats he makes, which only makes Konnosuke more blushy and awkward in his presence.

eventually, Konnosuke's identity does come out, through a misadventure where it becomes clear that he cares about Ponjirou on a deeper level than even he realizes.

the volume leaves off on the two of them sharing their mutual appreciation for each other— they talk about how they've both been the inspiration that the other needs to be the best version of themself. it's not a relationship, yet, but they like each other and make plans to keep talking.

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i thought this was an adorable little story. while it touched on the topic of negative self-image and Ponjirou's weight anxiety, he is not bullied and does not have to suffer for the crime of being fat, and we see him sharing food with his friends without shame. at the beginning of the story, one of Ponjirou's friends encourages him to go on a diet after listening to his woes about his weight, and he makes a weird fatphobic remark while trying to make Ponjirou feel better about messing up his lines: "i've heard that being fat makes it harder to speak clearly." but from that point onward, his friends only comment on his eating habits after Ponjirou has declared himself to be on a diet, by lightheartedly reminding him of that fact as he defiantly enjoys Konnosuke's treats. nobody in the story makes fun of his body, and the fact that he's a fat actor is really only a problem within Ponjirou's own self-doubting mind. i could do without that strange line about speaking clearly, but as far as fat representation goes, this story does a damn good job. i'll also say that i'm mostly fine with a story that takes place in a realistic, modern setting having a tiny sprinkling of fatphobia like this, because, well...we live in a society and people do just be saying shit  i can absolutely relate to Ponjirou having A Thin state some crazy-ass pseudofact while trying to be "helpful".

there's no sense of Konnosuke finding Ponjirou attractive "despite" his fatness; it's not a "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" story, and it's not a chaser story, either. a relationship between a fat person and a person who makes food could very easily come off as a feeder fetish thing (which i'm not, like, morally opposed to, but non-fetish stories about fat characters are so rare) but the author very successfully avoided that, and wrote these two like real people slowly developing a whole relationship. i don't recall Konnosuke mentioning Ponjirou's size at any point, at all. my man just has a crush on this guy!

something i really loved is that Ponjirou is shown physical affection by those around him. his friends touch and embrace him, Konnosuke gently holds his hands. if you're fat you probably know what i'm talking about, here— being loved via touch is often a rare luxury for us.

the artist's style is also very pleasing to my eyes. the characters feel solid, the clothing is well-drawn, and the SD drawings are super cute. at the end of the book, the author says they based Konnosuke and Ponjirou off of a fox and a tanuki with this drawing that i would totally buy as a sticker set:

so, yeah, i'd say four and a half—half point subtracted for the weird comment from Ponjirou's friend at the beginning—stars for this wonderfully pleasant slice-of-life  it was a quick read that left me wanting more, and also left me kinda wanting to make my own comics about fat characters. its sweetness was a lovely refresher from the state of the real world right now. i want to live in the reality that Ponjirou and Konnosuke do.